Entry 8

Hope all is well for you reader,

My aunt used to own a company in her retirement where she wrote original curriculum, and then sold it. Her purview was character, and it always stuck with me.

I recently had an extraction and it was a particularly difficult one because I went into it with the wrong mindset- well, it can’t hurt that bad can it? After all, I’ve already had one. This powerhouse personal motivation got me all the way to day 3 and I crashed and slept for two days, leaving my poor husband to care for our children after I had been so dedicated and willing to push through.

That shows character on his part, however, this was not the example that stuck.

We went to the store to go get some Powerade. I had been sick all night from the too potent painkillers and needed something with sugar in my body, because I felt like keeling over from the glucose deficit. We need wipes for the babies anyway, and a few other things. It’s time for a store trip.

My husband’s phone has been acting weird, so we haven’t been able to reliably use the features on demand- as we are all so used to now. He tries to pay with his phone- it won’t go through. Okay, let’s restart the phone. No go. The worker says there’s no manager, so they can’t delete or suspend the transaction. Luckily, (which is my favorite word right now), a couple behind us come in, and after seeing that we cannot get our payment to go through, they say they will pay for it for the baby. I always get flustered in these situations. How do I repay you? How do I show enough gratitude in a few seconds, because that is as long as a social interaction allows pleasantly? I opt for a giant thank you, shocked at what just happened. The man says, :”It’s okay, when I came to this country, I had nothing.”

character matters. a reminder to myself to pay it forward.

Worst part, I go out to our car that we cannot afford and feel like an utter piece of turd. My husband once had a fantastic job, and with it we bought our house and car. However, we lost that job, and with the car and house to still pay for, it was overwhelming. Now, we get by on bare bones. $10 is meals for the day. We try our best to live on pulling something out of nothing. However, we still have the most ostentatious car ever, causing the situation to look even worse.

Rough. Difficult to explain the situation to anyone as well. Anyway, I believe we resolved the phone situation, so hopefully we will never be in the same situation. Since the littles will be potty trained soon, it will be more feasible to not buy diapers until the first of the month, since we are so close to potty training.

In light of paying it forward, here is a pattern for a candle in the darkness.

Happy Knitting!